Frustration
by michellie1001
Summary: Poor Castiel has angered Dean...or so he thinks. It doesn't matter because he gets what he wants in the end: Dean.


He's mad at him. He only acted upon his feelings. He "went with the flow" as he's been told to do before. But this time he's angered him. He says he's not angry but he doesn't act like it. So now Cas'll just sit on the floor in the motel room in a circle of burning holy oil, waiting for Dean and his overgrown brother to get back. If he hadn't thought he felt the same he would've never kissed him. Dean's hard to read sometimes. He does everything to Cas as he does with the women he picks up. The eyes, the sideways smile, he even licks his lips as he looks at Cas'. Maybe if he hadn't done it in front of Sam and Bobby; Dean wouldn't be AS mad.

"Remind me again why we couldn't bring Cas with us? I mean, he could have probably helped a lot with his mojo. We almost got ourselves killed by that damned werewolf."

"Will you just drop it, Sam? It's not that hard of a concept. I don't want him around me right now. I'm not happy. And we did not. We were fine."

"Uh huh. You told him you're not mad."

"I'm not mad!"

"Then act like it! Dude, you left him in a circle of burning holy oil! And the worst part is he complied! He just walked right into that thing! Head hanging like a dog thinking he's done something bad, so he takes the punishment without guilt."

"Psh, whatever, dude."

"Oh my God, you're not mad."

"I've been telling you this!"

"You like him too. You _want_ him."

Dean swerved and nearly ran over curb

"Dude, what the hell!? No. I don't. I do not want him."

"Liar."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Content with the fact that Sam had finally stopped engaging him in conversation he turned up Fade to Black by Metallica and let it go. He wasn't sure why they needed Cas there for the werewolf anyway, a few stitches each and they'd be fine.

Well at least he made the circle big enough for Cas to lie down in. They're back. He feels slightly embarrassed at how quickly he sits up onto his knees to assume the position of a begging dog. He hears Dean's impala come to a stop, one door, two doors close. He missed him. Even when he's in trouble he still misses Dean, though it does hurt a bit. He can hear them arguing. No surprise there. Dean has been very argumentative lately.

"Just tell him Dean! It can't possibly be _that_ hard!"

"There's nothing to tell him! I'm going to open the door and when I do, I want you to keep your trap shut. Deal?"

"Fine, whatever. I'll let you tell him on your own time."

"You're a pain in the ass, Sammy."

When he opened the door he was graced with the pleasure of seeing Castiel on his knees in front of him, with an enthusiastic look on his face. He looked good like that, damn good. He stopped abruptly causing Sam to run into him.

"Cas, what are you doing?"

The Angel looked at the floor around him, confused. When he returned his gaze to Dean his head slightly cocked, he looked cute, adorable, even.

"I'm not doing much. You made sure of that...remember?"

Dean felt a slight pang of guilt in his stomach.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Sammy told me I'm an idiot for doing that. I won't do it again, promise." Seeing the Angel's eyes light up was worth the apology.

"Thank you, Dean. I won't disobey. If you don't want me to come with you, I won't."

"Alright, good. I need stitches Sammy, my ribs are hurtin'."

"Yeah well I need some, too jerk."

"Hey now, first born, first served."

"Whatever, dude." He said as he laughed

Cas loves watching Dean walk. He just has a certain swagger that makes him swoon. His broad shoulders and bow legs. He looks marvelous. He sorts through his bag and finds a new set of clothes. Walks to the bathroom and turns on the shower. Suddenly Cas is plagued with thoughts of a naked and wet Dean. Washing himself with soap. How he must look under the shower head while he rinses his hair out...he wants to see that.

"Hey Cas, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Sam."

"What makes you obey him? He's not God."

"Yes, I am aware that he is not God. I don't feel as though I 'obey' him. I am loyal to him. I love him and I'd do anything for him. Even if it hurts."

"So you do love him?"

"Yes, I love you as well, but it's...different. I'm not sure how to explain it...it feels like-"

"Don't worry, Cas. You don't need to explain it. I know what it feels like."

"Good, I have absolutely no idea how to explain it."

"Honestly, he's not mad at you. He's frustrated. What ever you do, do not tell him I told you this. Cas, he-"

Dean walks out of the bathroom, clothed but his hair is wet and that's enough to start Cas' unholy thoughts again.

"Why do you two look so guilty for? Did you break something? I was only in there for like five minutes, tops."

"No, we didn't break anything. Your brother and I were only talking, Dean."

"Oh? What were you two talking about?" he asked as he glared at Sam who shrunk instinctively.

They answered in unison, "Nothing."

If he wasn't suspicious before, he sure was now. "Whatever. I'm hungry. If you want food you better hurry up and get in the car."

They stopped at a small diner where Dean had a bacon double cheeseburger. Grease ran down the corner of his mouth. He was perfect even when he was sloppy. Like that makes any sense at all.

"So I figured we'd spend one more night and then we head out. Sound good to y'all?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me. Are we going to let Cas sit in the car or on top of the hood?"

Dean's face flushed bright red. "He's going to be in the car. Don't be an idiot, Sam"

"Not being an idiot. Just wondering after the way you've been acting."

"And how exactly have I been acting, Sam? Enlighten me."

"Like a child."

"Oh, really now? Well at least you're not afraid to speak your mind."

"Yeah, unlike you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, why don't you tell Cas?"

"I don't feel comfortable being launched into an argument. I'm just a bystander." Castiel stated

"Yeah, see Sam? You don't just throw someone into a fiery pit."

"Whatever. I'm gonna go for a walk. You two can sit here with your sexual frustrations."

And with that he was out the door.

"Dean, I'm sorry."

"S'not your fault, Cas. C'mon. Let's go to the hotel."

Cas isn't sure which is better, watching Dean's relaxation as he eats pie or his relaxation as he drives his "baby". Both are wonderful. When he can just let everything slip away. Cas can see it all roll off his shoulders as soon as he hears his engine purr. His shoulders relax, his fingers loosen grip, he sings along to whatever song is on the radio at that moment. He's so beautiful. Cas wants him badly but he's already made his feelings quite clear. When he rejected him it felt as though someone stabbed him in the chest. He didn't exactly _mean _to kiss him. He was just so happy.

He, Bobby and Sam were awaiting Dean's return. He'd left in a storm of anger for reasons unknown to the Angel. He was gone for two days. He'd left his phone so they couldn't track him. The engravings on his ribs made it impossible for Cas to find him as well. When he came back, bloody and beaten, Cas was just so happy to see him alive; he rushed and kissed him. It happened so quickly that he hadn't really had the time to realize what he'd done as he pushed him away.

"What the fuck, Cas?! I'm not gay dude!"

"I, I'm sorry Dean, I just-"

"It doesn't fucking matter what you were! There is absolutely no reason to kiss another dude!"

"I missed you. I'm glad you're alive."

"Dean, calm down. Where the hell you been, boy?" Bobby interjected

"Don't worry about it. I think I'm going to be leaving now after this turn of events."

"Because of me kissing you? Don't leave your family again, Dean. I'll go. Call if you need me."

It wasn't even that he had been rejected that hurt the most, but that Dean had threatened to leave because of him. He truly didn't want him and was willing to leave again because of it.

"Cas? Cas, did you hear me?"

"No, I'm sorry. What did you say?" he replied coming back to Earth. Unsure of when or how he got back into the hotel room

"I said I'm sorry for the way I've treated you lately. You did nothing wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm not mad at you for...for kissing me. I was scared."

"Oh. Well, why were you scared? You've no reason to fear me."

"I wasn't afraid of you, Cas. I was afraid of me. My feelings for you."

"And what are you feelings, Dean?"

"Look man, I love you, okay? But it's not like-"

"I understand. You do not feel the same way as me. It is more of a brotherly love, it's how I feel about Sam." he can feel it happening again. His chest is starting to hurt. He needs to get away.

"No, Cas. That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that I'm not gay. But I love you. I just didn't feel like putting that out in front of everyone. If we'd been alone things would have been different. I realize now that I hurt you just because I didn't want Bobby and Sam to think badly of me. I hurt you for my own pride. I'm sorry."

"We're alone now."

Dean looked around the room and smiled. Apparently that was all Castiel had heard.

"Yes, we are." He laughed

"So, can I kiss you now?"

"Yes, please."

_Please_. Dean had said please. Castiel was much more timid than before. He crossed the foot of space between them and as he did he felt his heart do a flip. He reached his hand up to the nape of Dean's neck and pulled him closer; stopping just a half inch away from his lips. Dean put his hands on Cas' arms and relaxed himself, allowing himself to be slowly drawn to him.

"Are you sure, Dean?"

"Yes, I am. I promise."

With his outright spoken opinion Castiel kissed him softly at first, it made his stomach flutter. This must be what "butterflies" feel like. He wound his hands in Dean's hair, so soft. And he smelled so _good_. Dean slid his right hand higher and cupped it around Cas' cheek pulling him closer. Then, very suddenly, the atmosphere changed. What was once soft and calm turned intense and rushed. Dean hadn't realized how much he wanted Cas. Now he wanted him more than anything else in the world. And he was going to have him, right now. He let his left hand slide down onto the small of Cas' back, down to his ass and pulled his hips against his. He was actually surprised to feel Cas' erection against his thigh, it was big and he wanted it inside of him. He NEEDED it inside of him.

Cas couldn't believe that he was kissing this gorgeous man; that this man wanted him, too. He trailed kisses along Dean's jaw leaving a tingling sensation it their wake. He reached down and grasped Dean's ass, so perfectly muscled and rounded. He slid his hand back up under Dean's shirt scratching his back, then, testing the waters, slowly slid it under the waistband of Dean's jeans. Dean responded with a moan and bucking against his hand. He took his chance, he slipped it under his underwear down in-between his cheeks and pushed his finger against his hole, he was rewarded with another buck and moan.

"Oh Cas, do that again, please."

Like a good lover, he repeated the action many times until Dean was writhing under his hands.

"Cas, please, please."

"Please what, Dean?"

"Please fuck me."

Castiel disappeared leaving Dean confused. What the hell? What did he think this was leading to? Now Dean's left with his frustration.

"Damn it! I knew it! Fuck you, Sam! This is why I didn't tell him. He just LEFT." He was yelling at no one, or so he thought.

"Who left?"

"Cas! I, I thought you left, I uh, sorry."

"Why would I start something without finishing it?"

"I don't know. Where'd you go?"

With a cheeky smile Castiel held up a bottle of lube. Dean suddenly felt very stupid. He felt slightly better now. But only slightly.

With that Castiel kissed Dean and picked him up, allowing him to wrap his legs around his waist, he walked him over to the bed and slowly set him down. He took off his shirt and took a step back to admire him. "You're so beautiful." Seeing Dean's cheeks flush was absolutely adorable. Fantasies were becoming life and he loved every second of it. Still standing farther than necessary, moving slower than necessary, he took off his coat, neatly folded it and put it on the chair. Turning his back to Dean he undid his shirt, then his shoes and pants.

Watching him from across the room was a treat. His slender figure, strong shoulders, it was a wonderful sight to behold. Did he really have to move so slowly, though? It was absolutely killing him. He wasn't going to move slowly but he was going to follow suit. He stripped naked, his cock was throbbing and if he didn't find release soon he thought he might just explode, he wasn't wasting any time.

When Castiel turned around he was surprised to see Dean naked, lying on his back stroking himself. He could see the precum leaking from the tip of is cock and Cas wanted to lick it off. He just might, actually. With that decision made, he sauntered over to Dean and pulled his hand away from is cock. Getting on the bed he kneeled before him and put it in his mouth, he was so hard. He was much thicker than Castiel had anticipated, but that wasn't a bad thing, it just meant he'd have to open his mouth wider. He swirled his tongue around the head as he came back up, pressed it against the bottom as he went back down and stroked him while doing so. Dean was moaning loudly and scratching deep into Cas' back. It was turning him on, hard.

He wanted him, now. He got back up and kissed him while he continued to stroke his cock. He sat up and out a generous amount of lube onto Dean's shaft and onto his fingers. He continued to stroke Dean while he played with his ass. He slowly pressed a finger into him, hearing him groan as he fingered and stoked him simultaneously. He put in another finger slowly stretching him open, then another. When he was content with how relaxed Dean was, he pulled his hands away from him and began to slick himself with the lube. Slowly he pushed himself into Dean. Dean hissed through his teeth.

"Are you okay? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine Cas, I promise. Just give me a second before you start moving too quickly."

Castiel slowly pushed in and out of Dean with his face in his neck and his hands on his hips, kissing and biting him, starting to move faster but careful not to hurt the one he loved most.

"God Cas, faster, please."

"Does this feel good, Dean? Do you like me fucking your ass?"

"Yes baby, please, harder, I'm gonna come"

Castiel reached down and began to stroke Dean to help him find his release in no time the man was writhing underneath him calling out his name as he shattered beneath him. It was breathtaking to watch. The sight of it made Castiel come and collapse on top of him. Both spent, they just laid there.

"Cas?" he hummed to let him know he was listening, "I love you, Cas. Like, really, truly love you. And if it's okay with you, I'd like to be in a relationship with you."

The Angel raised his head with bright eyes "You mean it? What about Sam and Bobby?"

"I'll tell them. If they don't like it, they can fuck off."

"Oh Dean, thank you."

Just then Sam walked in the door "JESUS! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Put a sock on the knob next time!"

"Well, one down, one to go." Dean laughed

"That was probably very scarring for your brother, Dean, why are you laughing?"

"Because he deserves it."

"Why?"

"Because he's a pain in my ass."

"That makes no sense..."

"Ah, forget it. Let's get cleaned up and let Sam in."

"I doubt he wants to anymore."

"Yeah, me too.' He chuckled as he snuggled deeper into Cas' arms.


End file.
